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Re: *****TRIGGER**** SI » muffled

Posted by Tamar on June 12, 2006, at 15:50:35

In reply to *****TRIGGER**** SI, posted by muffled on June 11, 2006, at 22:29:01

> My rage was gone awhile but its comming back.
> The only way I can stop it is to SI.

I’m so sorry you’re hurting so much.

> Its me or someone else. Better me.

It’s never good for you to be hurt.

> I HATE BEING MENTAL.

Yeah, me too. It’s crap.

> I WANT TO BE MORE NORMAL.

Don’t take it too far! If we were normal we’d have to stop pissing on cars.

> I AM A LOSER.

I happen to know that’s not true. You are a winner. You are making it. Every day you make it a bit more. You can get through this.

> I AM SCARRED AND UGLY.

Well, I don’t know what you look like, but the Muffled who posts here at Babble is one of the most beautiful people on earth.

> AND I HAVE NO CHOICE.

I know it feels like that sometimes. And maybe that’s because we’ve been in situations where we were completely powerless. And maybe that’s what causes the rage. And the only thing that’s different now is that the hurt comes from our own hands instead of from someone else’s. Somehow we believe we deserve it. We just let them keep hurting us, even when they’re long gone, because we can’t get them out of our heads.

> There's no other way to stop the rage.
> Is there?

I don’t know. It’s hard. It sounds to me as if you are directing your rage against yourself. It sounds to me as if you blame yourself for being hurt. And it isn’t your fault. You are not the one who is bad. People who hurt you did bad things. You are not responsible for those bad things. You are a *good* person. (((((Muffled)))))


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