Posted by Adrift on June 12, 2006, at 9:24:50
I can play the part for awhile, but then I fall. Im not hard enough. Im a fish in a sea of sharks. Im miserable trying and Im miserable when I don't try. But if I don't try, who am I and if I try and fail, then what am I? The truth is, when you fail, people look down on you and there is nothing you can do to change that. Therapy advises moving on and lowering my expectations, but how can I lower my expectations when my expectations are expected from others too? I hate who I have become, I hate my lack of power and strength. But there is nothing I can do to change that. My therapist tells me what he thinks I want to hear, what he thinks is the right thing to say, I know that! Because if he were in my shoes and understood my perspective I don't believe he would tell me to accept defeat and try something else, those are my words, not his, but I get the idea. Sometimes you must mold into the situation, you cant always run from everything with an excuse! It's a cookie cutter therapy world out there just as much as its a cookie cutter world. Sometimes, I wish that I could get unscripted advice from my therapist, but every dilemma is the same to him and every answer comes from the same text book. I am not a cookie.
poster:Adrift
thread:655866
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060604/msgs/655866.html