Posted by susan47 on May 31, 2006, at 17:12:03
In reply to Re: I am so stressed, frusterated, vent warning, posted by happyflower on May 31, 2006, at 16:33:32
Hi HF,
Yes,
but watch out you don't get too angry with him while you're ready to change if you've pulled him into the wind. Maybe he was late picking up on your cues and late getting into the realization end of things, as in his own self-consciousness that he brings along, you know? But now you've stopped him up short, maybe he's not expecting it and was having a bit too much fun with your sessions, you know T's like it when their clients are interesting. Especially if you find a way to keep it interesting, and you can both play into that, well then it does become play more than work, even though they can both take place and it's probably necessary, in the end, to have that kind of good spirit happening between the two people. I don't know but maybe ...
You're not acting crazy and if you are, it's a craziness you've inherited, in part, from the therapy relationship. And if he didn't want to be friends with you because of the way you're acting, HF, he doesn't like his own self, that isn't your problem. I doubt that's absolutely true though. He might be confused about what to do but that doesn't make your behaviour crazy, it just makes him confused and unable to talk to you about that. Part of your acting out, if you want to call it that, was induced by his own personality, things about him. I think I always knew that at some level .. but he seemed to really get into my acting out, as though he could understand it if he just listened hard enough, sweated enough, dreamt enough, something, anything just to shut me up .. he tried too hard really. To shoulder a burden that wasn't meant for him to carry, maybe, or maybe he tried to carry it under his arms when he should have been hoisting it over his head, you know, the easiest way to carry a burden ... on top of his head ...
I just got so crazy. Don't do that don't get depressed about it, but don't let this go, either. Not without saying how you really feel. A good T will be up to the challenge, and a good T will respond exactly the way you need without endangering you, your health, your livelihood, or your sanity. But that doesn't always happen. And we each have our own responsibility in these matters, and it is also a great one. I think the client's responsibility in a therapy relationship is greatly underestimated, or maybe it's overestimated but whatever the case, it maybe should be clearly delineated from the very beginning
It's always nice when you and DH don't fight. Our sons are the same age.
poster:susan47
thread:649269
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060526/msgs/651124.html