Posted by Larry Hoover on May 28, 2006, at 9:47:41
In reply to Is thinking of sucide a bad thing? Trigger, posted by happyflower on May 27, 2006, at 21:12:53
> I mean, like I saw my dad die and he was in terrible physical pain and after he died he looked so peaceful. They don't allow animals to go through that much suffering.
>
> I told my T (my last message) that I deceide to live in this f*cked up world. Yes I was in a dark place.
> Well I was thinking about how I would do it peacefully with taking my kids with me so they wouldn't have to suffer anymore either. We could just fall asleep together. Now I don't think I would ever do this but have you ever thought about how you would if you wanted to? Is this a bad sign? Is it okay to think about? I am okay right now, but what if I wasn't and I had enought living, I wonder if it would be a bad thing to put the end to my suffering.I think that you're just discovering healthy internal dialogue, so you are also reacting to the novelty of it.
The are no forbidden thoughts. There are forbidden acts, though. Conceptually, I mean. Forbidden is black and white thinking, but sometimes it's an appropriate thought, to use black and white concepts.
What you're describing is contextualization of your diversity of thought. You are not one stream of consciousness. You are many parallel streams of consciousness. Yet, you are one stream, in the end.
I think of it like holding a community meeting. I'm the chairperson.
There are many voices. The voice of society, of my culture. My addiction is there. My fears are there. My expectations are there. My spirit is there. My mom. Perhaps not so strangely, my dad seldom shows up. My Babblebuddies are there. And so on. Different attendance, at different meetings.
Lots of voices.
And we throw ideas around.
I always bear in mind that one voice, the one of my spirit, never speaks loudly. It only speaks during the quiet. So, I always have some quiet.
And I put myself, my life, my environment, into context.
And then I, the chairperson, have what I need to live my life, my way.
A thought itself is far removed from an act. Almost always, except in emergency.
Love,
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:649513
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060526/msgs/649649.html