Posted by crushedout on May 24, 2006, at 13:25:07
In reply to Re: Is therapy destroying my relationship with my mom?, posted by gardenergirl on May 17, 2006, at 9:06:59
gg, it's good to see you too! thank you so much for the thoughtful post.> It may have been hurtful for your mother to hear, and maybe it's not the way you planned to tell her what you've learned, if you ever would. But it sounds like it was an authentic expression of your feelings at the moment. Did you feel any positive feelings about that in the midst of the turmoil?
You are right that it absolutely was authentic. I guess it did feel kind of satisfying to express my anger. I felt very righteous and indignant, and I always enjoy that (I'm not supposed to, though! those are very bad feelings for a person to have, i thought). I guess that is a positive way to look at it though.
> I don't know what your relationship with your mom is like, but I do think that you can get through this with her if you two can talk about it. It may not be easy, and it can be difficult to manage conflicting feelings of love and anger at a parent at the same time.I guess one of the problems for me is that I kind of don't believe I feel love for her. I know that is a terrible thing to say, but it's how I feel. I'm really not that interested in working things out with her. I was kind of doing it as a "favor" (or maybe so I wouldn't have to feel like such a bad daughter) and my feeling is that if she's going to blow it like that, her loss. Everyone thinks that just hurt and bitterness talking but that's not how it feels to me at all.
> But all you can do is keep going forward, imo.Them are wise words, my dear.
poster:crushedout
thread:644750
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060517/msgs/647852.html