Posted by serena11 on May 18, 2006, at 19:15:23
In reply to Re: DID no longer ****trigger**** » Larry Hoover, posted by kerria on May 18, 2006, at 16:46:24
> thank you Lar- for the kind words.
>
> tears/ we have to find a therapist first. The T i was going to the past six years ended so painfully. Today i went once more and he kept saying , reminding me that the T relationship is beyond repair. i can't find anyone to take me.
>
> My T made me so worse- finding out i had DID made me so worse. T was criticizing things parts did up to the last moment. Everyone inside is so torn apart. i need to find a T that cares about me. My life is so painful and so trashed.
>
> No i can't do it by myself- there's no one in charge. i can't have that T i was going to because he constantly stood against me in areas where it wasn't my fault. now i'm so hurt AND have aaaall these problems like surgery to get through without a T.
>
> i can't believe a T can be so uncaring. It's so hard to think about trusting anyone ever again.
> i need a healing - a different way to heal. Maybe thie way- serena's method that helped would help. i wish i had a T that cared about me and could help.
> kerriaDear Kerria,
I tried to post this a moment ago, accidentally hit some key, and it disappeared! I will try again, but this may be a duplicate. During the lengthy process of trying to find help, I had a therapist who thought I was a liar and was severely rejecting of me. She had reason to be wary because I literally threatened her, and I am sorry for that. I do think it ironic that I spent so many years later denying I had DID; it was incredibly difficult for me to accept it. Anyway, her rejection was one of the most painful things I endured in the process of seeking help. At first she refused to see me unless my husband accompanied me (which we never did), then refused to see me at all. It was totally devastating. A patient is already extremely vulnerable. It is incomprehensible for someone to treat a wounded person that way. Even sick animals at a shelter are cared for....
I started to write that I was able to release all of that pain from her during my healing, when I hit the wrong key somewhere.
Kerria, NO ONE should be criticizing any part of you. Every part of your heart is precious and needs to be loved and healed. I hope that you will find a gentle therapist who can help all of you come to rest and peace and life. It is hard enough to be shattered inside, much less having external attacks from the very person who should stand with you. You cannot do this alone and should not be having to defend yourself after exposing your broken heart. It makes me angry that you are being attacked and I hope you will find true healing with just the right person.
poster:serena11
thread:644880
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060517/msgs/645611.html