Posted by wishingstar on May 9, 2006, at 12:09:38
In reply to Re: T wont stop talking!, posted by happyflower on May 9, 2006, at 11:38:50
That's exactly what I'm dealing with.. there are things I need to say, but it's hard.. and when she jumps in and says something when I pause for more than 5 seconds, I never get a chance to. For me, I'm not completely sure what "it" is yet, but I know there is a lot of "it" wanting to be heard and I really dont think I'll feel better until it is. I feel like I've told her that so many times.. SO many times.. why doesnt she hear me? I just got home from driving around town and sort of worked myself up thinking about this. I tell her EXACTLY what I need (I mean, down to the words that will and wont help sometimes).. and nothing. Ever since she found out that I dont have a history of any actual suicide attempts (even though I was intensely suicidal for a long time and am beginning to feel that way again), she doesnt even ask about it. It's like a side comment if I mention it. Shouldnt "hey I'm feeling like hurting myself" raise some sort of flag for her? I know about risk assessment and all, so I know that shes probably thinking I'm not that big of a risk because I've never done anything before.. but geez, it makes me feel 10x worse when she ignores it. I told her that. She still doesnt ask. I think therapy is making me WORSE, not better. Maybe I need to quit.. but sometimes unhelpful attention is better than no attention. I'm trying so hard.. why cant she just hear me?
Sorry. heh.
poster:wishingstar
thread:641585
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060505/msgs/641745.html