Posted by Tamar on April 16, 2006, at 20:31:35
In reply to ran into T today!, posted by wishingstar on April 16, 2006, at 19:55:43
> I ran into my T (and her husband and 2 kids) at barnes and noble today! Okay, lets be honest.. I saw her driving and followed her into the store when I saw her going there so I could see what her kids looked like (is this stalker-ish? I hope not.)Wow! It’s quite an experience, eh? I remember seeing my T once (no time to speak) and feeling incredibly shaky afterwards! And no, I don't think it's stalkerish.
> Anyway.. I'd been wondering if she was married, and now I obviously know. I was so freaked out, I was literally shaking. When she saw me, she said hi and asked how I was and kept walking. Then a few minutes later she came over to where I was sitting and asked what I was reading (a book on EMDR) and we discussed it for a minute. I'm afraid I sounded like a complete idiot because I was so shaken up by seeing her there.. I'm sure I didnt say anything intelligent at all.
I bet what you said was just fine. When I run into people in stores I’m not usually expecting them to be at their most witty and articulate! Being polite and pleasant is the important thing. I’m sure you therapist thinks just as highly of you as before.
> Oh well. I asked how her easter was and she actually told me what she'd done with her family that day.. great to see the real human side of her for once! I saw her interacting with her kids though, sitting on the floor with them reading comic books (2 boys, ages 6 and 8 or so).. so engaged and obviously loving towards both of them. I KNEW she was a good mother.. and this really confirms it for me. I'm so happy to have seen that. (I know one interacion doesnt mean anything really, but I'll let myself believe it anyway). I'm sure we'll be talking about it on Tues when I see her again.
Actually, I think one interaction is enough to tell, if it’s a good interaction you see. A bad one might be less useful as evidence. But when you see one instance of a good relationship, then you can probably be sure the relationship is pretty good in general. It’s hard to fake being an engaged parent. I expect your therapist makes as many mistakes as any other parent, but you have had the privilege of seeing for yourself how good she can be as a mother. That must have been very special.
> I know there is some drawback from seeing the "real" side of your therapist in public.. but I really think this was good for me. I had gotten so caught up wondering about the details that it was getting crazy. Seeing her helped convince me that who she is in therapy really is somewhat who she is in reality. It's not all one huge act. I can already feel some of my obsessive-ness about who she is fading. It may be back eventually, but for now, I'm feeling good.
Yeah, I’ve also had the experience of feeling much calmer after I found out things about my therapist. I didn’t want to know much… I just wanted to know he was real, or something like that.
> As we were finishing our conversation, I said that I felt really shaken up seeing her there.. and she said that she remembered we'd just talked about this happening (running into each other) recently and sure enough, it did happen. I'd asked her a month or so ago about how she handles those situations.. but the exciting part was.. she remembered! It was only a 5-10 minute conversation at the end of the session several weeks ago.. and she remembered! That feels really good. And she even made the effort to stop and talk to me for a moment. :)
Yeah, that’s really nice. I’m glad she remembered, and I’m glad she took the time to speak to you. She sounds really nice.
> Not really looking for any responses here, just had to share it with someone who will hopefully understand. :)
Yeah :) It’s exciting, isn’t it? Thanks for sharing it!
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:633960
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060406/msgs/633967.html