Posted by wishingstar on April 4, 2006, at 22:41:30
In reply to WishingStar -- Are you hanging in there?, posted by TherapyGirl on April 4, 2006, at 14:42:04
I'm still here and holding together.. thank you so much for thinking about me.
I'm sorry for not responding to anyone before, I just went into emotional hiding there for awhile. I'm in a weird place right now.. I'm really not even sure how I feel. Mostly I have just turned off the emotions all together, but occasionally I get a very strong twinge of sad and lonely and missing my T. Pushing everything down was always my coping mechanism growing up, and it still serves me well I guess.
Now a big part of me doesnt want to go back to see her on Thurs. The thing I always hate about therapy is that its just enough to keep the emotions above the surface, but not enough to really be comforting in the long term for me. The first few days were so hard.. now I'm back in the "comfortable" zone. I dont want to leave. I thought about cancelling, but I know thats the wrong thing to do. Part of me is scared that I've become "too well for therapy" in the last 2 weeks because I;m not even really depressed right now.. but I know it doesnt work like that.
I got really mad a few days ago.. I called her voice mail early last week and it said she was out all week. Then I called it on Sat and it said she was out just for Friday (the day before).. so she must have seen clients on Thursday. Thursday isnt even my normal day (except for this week), but it made me angry. Does she not care? Does she not think I really need her? I know its irrational, and I wont bring it up when I see her. Too weird.
Oh well, rambling.. yes, I'm doing okay.
How about you? How was the 2 weeks been for you? I'm sorry for not being more supportive, since I know we're both going through this at the same time. I hope you're hanging in there too. Almost there!
poster:wishingstar
thread:628736
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060325/msgs/628998.html