Posted by wishingstar on March 23, 2006, at 21:22:52
In reply to Re: T on vacation » wishingstar, posted by LadyBug on March 23, 2006, at 0:59:38
I'm so jealous.. can I have your therapist?! Just kidding of course. She sounds great and very understanding. Mine has very tight boundaries. In fact, she wouldnt even tell me where she was going.. just that her kids are on spring break and theyre doing "a couple little things" out of town. Whatever that means. I think it would help to know. She did offer once to let me take something small from her office when I was gone for a month, but it was before I was really attached to her and declined. I think I'd be too afraid to ask her to call and leave me a message or something like that.. afraid she'd say no, or afraid I'm being too much of a drain on her time. I hate asking for anything at all outside of session time. I also call her voice mail just to hear her voice occasionally though. Sometimes it helps.
I've been seeing her for probably a year and a half total, but I took a 6 month (or so) break in the middle, and I really wasnt doing good therapy before that. So I'd say I've been seeing her about 6-7 months now, and only about 3 months on a weekly basis (it was bi-weekly before). The last few weeks have been the first time I've ever really gotten to the emotional level at all with her.. its very hard for me. I think I am going to try to talk to her about how hard her leaving was for me when she gets back.. I really dont think she has any idea. She told me a week in advance, which I guess was enough time. It's just such a hard time for her to be leaving - right when I'm finally hitting the emotional place and trusting her like I've never been able to before. It does feel sort of like abandonment.. how could she do this? Doesnt she know how much I need her? She must not care as much as I think she does if she can just leave like this.. etc etc. I know those statements arent true, but I have to remind myself.I know what you mean about even weekends being difficult. Sometimes the 6 days between my sessions feel like 6 years. I wish I could see her more often, but Id never know how to ask, and more importantly, I couldnt afford it.
I'm really afraid to feed this dependence I seem to have developed though. It doesnt seem like a good idea for me to need her and be so dependent on her when I barely even know the real her.
Sorry for rambling! I appreciate your suggestions.
poster:wishingstar
thread:623503
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060312/msgs/623938.html