Posted by madeline on March 8, 2006, at 7:32:52
In reply to A letter to my therapist, posted by Daisym on March 8, 2006, at 0:49:48
Daisy,
Again and again I am struck at how similar our situations seem to be. When I read your posts, or that night when we met in chat, your words could be mine. Maybe we both can find some comfort in that, I don't know. But you are most definately not the only one that feels the way you do about life, therapy, relationships.
One thing that I did that really helped me in therapy was to consciously decide to trust my therapist no matter what was going on inside my head.
It sounds so simple doesn't it?
I'm going to trust my therapist. I'm going to believe him when he says he is not going to leave me. I am going to believe him when he says he is not going to violate the boundaries between us. I am going to let him apologize for making mistakes and let him accept my apologies. I am going to know that it is alright if he hurts me a little because the relationship is strong enough to tolerate it and I can soothe myself. I am not going to run and he isn't either. I am going to be as open as I can be and LET him go through all of the hurt with me. I am NOT going to be alone.
At first, I felt like a feral cat trying to decide whether to accept
a dish of food on a backporch, when all of its instincts just said RUN! YOU IDIOT! RUN!But now, I not only eat the food, I let him "pet" me occasionally and it feels so nice.
We even use that analogy in therapy to describe where I am. I'm a big cat person.
Maybe you could try to make a decision like that. It might alleviate some of the neediness and uncertainty you feel.
It isn't easy and sometimes I just have to totally fake it. But I haven't regretted a minute of that decision.Good luck, ((((((((((((DAISY))))))))))
Maddie
poster:madeline
thread:617346
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060225/msgs/617393.html