Posted by annierose on February 27, 2006, at 16:23:01
I've noticed that during the last few weeks, I have a really hard saying anything at all during the therapy session. Thoughts drift in and out of my mind so quickly, that I can't form the words to utter even a sound. I have literally sat there for 15 - 20 minutes saying nothing, not even responding to her questions.
She will let me sit with my thoughts for awhile, then try to find out what is interfering with talking with her. The best I can say is "I don't know."
Today she asked (after 15 minutes of silence) if I felt that she (my T) wasn't on my side. She recalled how criticized I felt as a child, and wondered if I felt criticized by her, that instead of seeing her as a therapist-friend, I see her as someone that is judging my life and decisions. I think that is partly true, but I don't know what else my silence is saying (besides the obvious --- I don't want to talk with you today).
Has anyone else gone through periods like this? I go again tomorrow and part of me says why bother, I don't have anything to share.
I have recently shared some "ugly" family interactions I had with my husband and daughter --- fighting, not so kind words being said back and forth. I'm not proud of these moments, but I do realize that every family has difficulties. I just seem to feel like a failure when I repeat these scenarios out loud to her.
I've fumbled somewhere and don't know how to get back on the 50 yard line.
I don't even like her right now.
poster:annierose
thread:613837
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060225/msgs/613837.html