Posted by James K on February 24, 2006, at 16:21:19
I hope this is okay to talk about here, because I'm not in therapy right now and I'm not sure if this whatever.
Many on this board discuss their brains as different characters/personalities/parts. I think in some it is literal and some symbolic, and some a mixture. This has got me thinking about a way of thinking about me. I know this gets all confused with DID, MPD, inner child, and other things I have partial understanding of.
When I talk about myself and when I go violent or self injury or both, I talk about a switch being flipped. The guy who can handle running a big store customer service system, or shipping and receiving in the back room, has nothing to do with the guy who hides in cabinets when he is hurt, or the guy who becomes homicidal in feeling and intent when someone acts aggressive.
Is there value in identifying those parts of me as seperate, and figuring out who they are, and what they want? Or is integrating them into one me the value? I think questions like this are too much for a board to give answers to now that I've written them down. I'm scared to dig too deep into the destructive part. Sometimes therapist types have told me I should journal, and I try to explain to them that that is dangerous, but it is hard to explain why. Sometimes I'm walking down the street, or driving, sitting, or anything and things happen, and I have to say I did that because of reason A, or reason B, but really I don't know why. Sometimes the adrenaline blanks parts out.
The answer probably is I need a good therapist. My head is going the other direction right now, so I've managed to completely confuse myself 3 different ways in about a day and a half.
If you could feedback on me some, even just to say "I get it" or "I don't get it" or "thanks for sharing", it would help me be less alone right now.
James K
poster:James K
thread:612863
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060211/msgs/612863.html