Posted by All Done on February 24, 2006, at 13:04:28
In reply to Re: Separation anxiety, posted by Annierose on February 24, 2006, at 12:26:35
> Laurie -
>
> Yes, I know exactly what you are talking about. I started to realize about a year ago that how I was feeling towards my T, my kids feel about me. That helped me handle their needs more appropriately, or at least view it from a different perspective. My daughter (now 12) has always been especially clingy. It would get a negative reaction from me --- "leave me alone" --- not those words, but my body languuage expressed that idea. Now I can take a deep breath and say, "do you need a hug from your mom right now?".I'm glad you've been able to use all your hard work in therapy to better your relationship with your kids, as well. They are very lucky kids to have you.
> My T always says, when you listen to your heart and speak its truth, it will lead you to do the right thing.That's quite nice. I hope she's right because I think I've got my heart dictating all of my therapy sessions, lately.
> I'm glad your son's preschool is allowing the phone calls. Sounds like a great school. And I do think his behavior sounds typical --- a phase kids go in and out of as their development matures.They are fantastic. He's been there since he was 12 weeks and they know him really well. They've been working very closely with me on all of this. And I do realize it's typical, too. The center director and his teacher both have boys my son's age and they're experiencing a lot of the same things. I guess I'm just hypervigilant because of my issues. I want him to be okay...not like me.
> WOW!! I'm so proud of you for letting your T know how important he is to you. Did he talk about it for the rest of the session? or bring it up since?We talked about it the entire session and then the next session (the other day) was entirely about it as well. I managed to turn it into an icky thing, though. Even though he was so accepting and receptive, I have a hard time believing it wasn't horrifying for him to hear. And I wondered if I put him in an awful position of having to come up with a response that wouldn't hurt me. I'm afraid I may have insulted him by questioning his authenticity. That said, I do trust him to be authentic. I just have such a hard time *accepting* it from him when it's any kind of positive regard for me.
Somehow, we also got on the topic of the fact that my mom wouldn't let me sit on my dad's lap when I was younger (maybe after I was three or four). He wondered if my telling him I love him was kind of like me crawling up into his lap. And afterwards, I thought I shouldn't do that...it's a bad thing. So, the next session, I turned the whole thing into something bad and icky. Of course, at that point, I couldn't help but admit to him (is there anything I don't share anymore?) how badly I wanted to hug him after I told him. So, now I imagine we're going to have to deal with the dreaded (for me, anyway) hugging topic.
He amazes me. It's virtually impossible not to love him. :)
> I too feel that I am growing up right along my children. I'm about 9 or 10 --- do I have to go through puberty again???LOL. Goodness, I hope not. If I'm only three, I've got a ways to go. Hmm, but does that mean I get to stay in therapy until my son is on his own?
Sorry for rambling. I guess I need to talk. Thanks for listening!
Laurie
poster:All Done
thread:612789
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060211/msgs/612826.html