Posted by Tamar on February 19, 2006, at 16:42:56
In reply to I won't let my T leave me, nope, never ever, posted by happyflower on February 17, 2006, at 14:46:56
Hi Happyflower!
You know I understand where you’re coming from! And yes, even though I’m not feeling the romantic stuff for my therapist at the moment, I still have a very strong wish to be friends with him some time in the future when I’m healthy and happy and not in need of any more therapy.
I find it much easier to accept that I can’t have a sexual relationship with my therapist. There are lots of people I shouldn’t have sex with; he’s just one more. But I feel so sad at the idea that we can’t be friends. And the thing is… maybe we can be friends, but it can’t happen right now. I sometimes wonder if wishing for a future friendship puts a strain on the present therapeutic relationship. Maybe; maybe not.
One thing I’m trying to get to grips with is this: since the desire for friendship is so strong, it may be partly transferential. I don’t think it’s 100% transference because I really do have a chemistry with him that doesn’t happen with everyone. But I think it is probably partly transference. And I think if I can work through the transferential part of it perhaps what’s left will be the part that isn’t transferential. So I’m currently asking myself what the idea of his friendship gives me at a symbolic level.
I guess all I’m saying is that it may indeed be possible for you to have a friendship with your therapist at some point in the future. But maybe there is a little bit of transference in there too, and if you explore what the idea of his friendship means to you it might actually give you a better basis for the real thing one day in the future.
Just my two cents…
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:610632
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060211/msgs/611138.html