Posted by Susan47 on January 29, 2006, at 13:16:41
I can feel that I've come quite a distance in the last couple of years. I don't know when I first came onto this site, or what I had to say, or what I felt, then. I know it was turmoil, and a lot of grief and mania and hyperactivity. I know I upset a lot of people. That people couldn't handle who I was, that some people probably never came here again because of who I was. There was a lot of anger, a lot of misunderstanding, some of it almost gleefully placed there by me. I mean, if you think that's malicious, maybe it was. I don't know. I don't know. What I do know is I feel sad that that was me, but also really glad it isn't me anymore. I know that I trust people again, men in particular, on the whole. For the most part, and this is reflecting back to me positively. Things are happening. Life is moving forward, and it feels really good, but sometimes also almost fantastic, like it couldn't possibly be real, be happening to me, I couldn't possibly have had this positive power all my life and never known it ... I'm so sorry for all the people I upset along this way. I'm sorry for all the sadness I might have caused, all the triggers I set off for people .. i hope everyone comes to a better understanding of who they are, really are, and that they don't destroy themselves along the way. You just really have to remember not to give up the one thing you're fighting for .. yourself. Thanks for everything all the lovely people who come here have done to help me along my way. I hope it stays like this. I'll be around, but hopefully, the one me.
poster:Susan47
thread:604110
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060121/msgs/604110.html