Posted by James K on January 24, 2006, at 19:13:48
In reply to I understand you but.... » James K, posted by muffled on January 24, 2006, at 9:20:16
Ya'll are right, drinking has to be out. I can't trust myself at all right now, and any impairment opens the door.
I didn't go today. My wife isn't too happy with that decision. I want to make it clear to her (and you all). From friday evening to when I was in the medical hospital, I had every intention of being admitted. Now I'm struggling with the rejection part of me - "if they don't want me and cant help me, than screw them.".
I don't want to face them with injuries all over me then say "I think I'd rather not go in anymore". For 2 days my therapists and doctor were very concerned about my safety. They were right. I'm okay right this second though.
on an obscuring the issue and diverting the attention away from the main issue note, showering in those dark nasty showers and polished metal mirrors when you are scaby is gross and difficult. and sleeping on a foam pad when you are bruised hurts.
How could they be full? the federal government is asking them for millions for taking too many medicaid/medicare patients and billing too much.
They laid off a hundred people 2 weeks ago. Surely the medicare patients are gone now, leaving room for private insurance people. How could my doctor tell me come in under any circumstances then not answer phone call, page from trauma center AND his own psych nurse employee?I don't know what to do! We don't have good hospitals here. There is one, but it's out of network thats like 5,000 dollars out of pocket. And they make you pay 20,000 up front and get your own reimbursment. I used up all the damn money last year. I've f*cked everything up. My wife works hours and hours and I piss it away on booze and prescriptions and therapy. IF SOMEONE WOULD HIRE ME, I WOULD MOVE BOXES ALL DAY FOR MINIMUM WAGE, I HAVE BEFORE.
sorry folks, i'm venting and feeling self-pity. poor me, poor me, pour me another. get off your pity pot, take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth, there are certain unfortunates who are pathologically incapable of being honest with themselves, those poor f*ckers are going to die. Let your feelings out, we have 5 minutes left before lunch. Are you sharing in group? God does love you even though you don't believe in him, read The Purpose Driven LIfe, REad the big book, read the bible. Your higher power can be a door knob as long as that doorknob is jesus christ. You never worried about side effects when you were putting all those nasty chemicals in you body.
sorry again, tomorrow is another day.
My wife just got home.James K
poster:James K
thread:602300
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060121/msgs/602459.html