Posted by Racer on January 14, 2006, at 16:34:11
Not a lot, but every little bit counts, right?
Anyway, here's what Antigua wrote:
"It must be that small girl who still believes (or thinks like an adult) that she should have been able to get out of the abuse."
I think part of why I keep overreacting to my T talking about me surviving trauma, is that she includes that in a statement that concludes, "...and then you go to that little girl place." I think part of my problem is that I feel as though that means I'm just plain immature, that that is a failure -- after all, I was criticised as being immature since I was 12 or 13, by my family -- and so I start judging myself pretty harshly.
Heck -- I just wrote that I "overreact" to my therapist talking about this. I react. I feel bad things. But who's judging that it's "overreacting?" I learned to do that, right?
Anyway, I think it's all tied up in this whole, "If I weren't so immature, I would be able to avoid all these bad things that have happened to me, and so I wouldn't hurt so much..." I know that that isn't what she's saying, so much, but that's the sort of judgemental thing I hear, every time.
And my mother managed to put a candle on that today, so I'm feeling just lovely...
poster:Racer
thread:599085
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060110/msgs/599085.html