Posted by B2chica on January 12, 2006, at 9:09:08
In reply to Re: Dissociation the curse of confusion, comments? » littleone, posted by muffled on January 11, 2006, at 21:11:48
hi muff. i don't have really severe dissociation but enough to cause problems. sometimes i'll be talking about some hard stuff and i'll stop and my mind is TOTALLY blank. i don't know what i was saying, what context, i swear the harder i try the harder it gets. my T often has to pick up where i left off. Other times it's like everything will get really fuzzy, it works going from the ouside inward till there's a little speck in the middle i can see clearly, then that dissappears too. i can stay in that state for 10 seconds or at the longest an hour, then i'll snap out and think it was for only a few seconds. sometimes i don't know what happens all i know is that the time is later and don't know what i was doing or where i went. sometimes its as simple as just dazing off, like daydreams or other settings and such.
people dissociate all the time such as driving to work, getting there and not remembering how, or go through a stop light not knowing if it was green or not. at the other end the worst is dissociative identity disorder (used to be multiple personality disorder) where due to the abuse your mind actually splits into personalities that you need to survive, they are a 'protective barrier' when you go through the abuse however become a hinderence when they are no longer needed.
sometimes it's like my 'little girl' comes out i know shes the one that curls up and won't talk and is super needy but it's not DID because i know she's present but i still curl up and only say what she can handle.
before i always thought i could control it, i guess cuz growing up it happened when i needed it to. but now it happens at work, at home and in session. and believe me, i understand the confusion it causes. sometimes its just really high levels of anxity that can cause this confusion also.
sorry so long.
HTH
b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:597191
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060110/msgs/598290.html