Posted by Damos on December 20, 2005, at 15:43:04
In reply to I want therapy so much (*****trigger*****), posted by Tamar on December 19, 2005, at 16:31:18
In the interests of Occupational Health and Safety I feel it is my duty to warn you about the inherent risks of a 'slip and fall' accident occurring should you undertake "bonnet christening" activity. I do have to agree with Muffled on this that one would be enough - the whole lot might come across as overly territorial ;-)
Seriously though, having lived with someone with a chronic illness for a long time now I understand how important it is to have those rail at the world days. Those angry, frustrated I give up days. Those I'm pissy and grizzly and live with it days. Those I'm too d*mn tired to try anymore and I'm just want to curl up in a ball and cry days. Those don't even look at me unless you want your head bitten off days. Those it just aint fair days. It's allowing yourself permission to have those days and being allowed to have them that allows you to be strong and keep fighting the rest of the time. Being allowed to grieve what the disease has taken away is important to and maybe this is feeding the depression a little. Having a 'safe' place to be able to talk about all that is going physically and emotionally makes a world of difference too.
I can appreciate hubby's struggles too, because there is a sense (probably not spoken or even truly admitted to himself) of loss. Loss of things you (being the two of you) used to do, how you used to be, who you used to be. Change can be real hard especially if you've always relied on and needed the other person to be a certain way. Knowing when and what to say is hard as, especially if you've never been good at the communication stuff anyway.
I know no-one in S's family 'get' her MS especially her sister who has been a Director of Nursing and specialised in gerontology. It's like it's all too close or they think she's putting it on or something.
But hard as it is, nothing excuses him for behaving badly, being unsupportive or insensitive. He has to fight for you and the relationship too. The hardest lesson is that normal is however you are right now.
Please don't give up.
Lots a love and big safe hugs,
Damos
poster:Damos
thread:590424
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051216/msgs/590715.html