Posted by ghost on December 12, 2005, at 19:35:14 [reposted on December 13, 2005, at 11:19:13 | original URL]
g@dd@mn fckng hell i typed a huuuuuuuuuuuuge long really awesomely expressive post and i accidentally shut down my browser instead of tabbing to another window.
it's lost now. lost lost lost lost lost lost lost. c@cks@cker.
so. wtf was i trying to type?
i had a revelation while typing, even. ive shut my therapist out of my mind. i dont want her in there any more. i don't like her there. i don't even really trust her there.
she brought up My Past at the very end of the session today. a good session where i talked a lot and she commented on that and i was in a good mood and she commented on that too. so wtf would you bring up My Past? that put me in a bad mood. so she tried to cheer me up by saying she was happy i was in a good mood but it was lost.
went from 2 wk visits to 3 wk visits. which is for the best. i wanted it to be longer, but didn't have the heart to tell her.
i stopped taking wellbutrin and abilify. i feel really good. i don't want to take so many drugs. i hardly remember to take them anyway. i remember my neurontin most of the time. i think i'm not having problems cuz the neurontin keeps my moods so level and in between and away from the extremes where i tend to have the problems. i hardly remember to take my real meds, let alone the psych meds. (real meds?)
i have a pdoc appt tomorrow. i have to tell her about the meds i guess. she's nice though. she better be okay with it. the T p@ssed me off today by saying "you'll talk to pdoc right? and you'll do what she says?"
uh, it's my body. i'll listen to ME. i don't have to do what doctors say, they don't know my body like i do.
trusting my body with other people gets you r@ped.
wtf? it's my body.
i can't believe i typed up such an awesome post and then lost it all.
it's not just t i've shut out of my head. it's people who are no good for me. like the drama queen guy with the r@pe pr0n. and the ex-love who'll never make me a priority in his life. i'm proud of those, though.
such an awesome post i typed. now i have no witty way to end this.
poster:ghost
thread:588644
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051210/msgs/588644.html