Posted by orchid on December 12, 2005, at 20:45:52
In reply to Re: Forgive and Forget » Tamar, posted by LegWarmers on December 11, 2005, at 20:21:36
In addition to what Tamar said, when people say about forgiving people (who are not deserving of that forgiveness), they sometimes mean, that they just understand the reasons behind their issue and let it go.
Like, if a person hurts me and doesn't show remorse, but is known to be an extremely psychologically tortured person himself, sometimes I find it easier to accept that and let it go without boiling about it myself. I had a colleague once who behaved in the worst possible way with me. At that time I felt extremely bad and hurt and boiled inside about it for nearly a year. But then later I found out that he had profound issues himself and was behaving that way
with many of my other colleagues.So even though this guy didn't show remorse or asked me for forgiveness, I was able to kind of forgive him, and think "That was the best he knew and it didn't have anything to do with me". And I made peace.
The point is, even if they don't ask for forgiveness, it is sometimes possible to forgive, if we understand the rationale behind their actions.
poster:orchid
thread:588155
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051210/msgs/588488.html