Posted by B2chica on December 11, 2005, at 15:11:56
ok, so i've layed out most of my cards on the table with my T. now i'm looking back on them and wondering if they were really MY cards? the realization i think is starting to come, but i'm not letting it in. i had to see the person that hurt me this weekend... and i think (SICK ME) that i actually wanted him to touch me sexually or try to hurt me...(STUPID ME) i feel like if he doesn't do it now then how could he have done it years ago?
(SCREWED UP ME)everything was fine this weekend, he didn't even come close to me...(SHAME ME)i think i actually felt disappointed.i have NO idea how to bring this up to my T, or should i?
maybe mom was right, i ask for deviant pain. maybe i did want all that sexual attention when i was young???
should i just get it over with and hang myself in my closet?i'm so disgusting, i can't even stand it right now. on the other hand i feel i deserve all this pain x10. i can't win, i s@ck, i should be burried in a hole 30 feet deep and covered with trash.
b2c
poster:B2chica
thread:588095
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051210/msgs/588095.html