Posted by med_empowered on December 10, 2005, at 20:50:32
hi! Here's my story: I'm 21 now, going back to school and off all medications, doing pretty well. Last year, when I was 20, I was hearing voices (possibly a bipolar psychotic depressive episode; also, possibly, just a psychotic depression episode of the unipolar type). Anyway, I went to a therapist who diagnosed me as schizophrenic but..it wasn't a "diagnosis" in the real sense. No one who knew me accepted it (except my parents, who were relieved to know that my problems "weren't their fault"). I didn't fit most of the criteria--he squeezed me in using "negative symptoms," and claimed I also had poor hygiene (even though I bathe daily).
Anyway, long story short--it was terrible. Once the "diagnosis" was made, my personal life didn't matter. He basically told me to take my meds, quit worrying about school or grad school (I guess since schizophrenics generally don't go to grad school) and just focus on getting an OK job. I was always reading, and he was impressed by this--like, "oh, the crazy can read?!?!"
The antipsychotic made me feel like a zombie. It also made me even more anxious, so my social anxiety got so bad I had to quit school. He didn't "believe" in sleeping pills (not even trazadone) or anti-anxiety meds, and would subtly accuse me of being "manipulative" whenever I told him how afraid of life I was. Its taken me a long time to a) get a more or less correct diagnosis (maybe BP II, more likely Mood Disorder NOS) b) withdraw from the antipsychotics and reclaim my personality and c) restructure my relationship with my parents, so they can't just dismiss me as "the crazy kid".
Anyway, this guy is local, and I just kind of stopped seeing him one day. I feel like maybe I should make an appointment, and just break it down for him--this is what you did to me. I'm doing OK now, but I want you to know that you were and are wrong, and I want you to know that I've told ***everyone*** I can how incompetent and judgemental and unhelpful you are. Most of all...I want an apology for your abuse of power. I was at my weakest, and I feel like he further weakened me, almost obliterating my personality with antipsychotics.
What do you y'all think? I know it sounds mean, vengeful, but...why should I just "let it go" ? If I can do this calmly and matter-of-factly, shouldn't I let him know how damaging his "therapy" was for me? I feel it could be cathartic.
poster:med_empowered
thread:587901
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051210/msgs/587901.html