Posted by daisym on November 30, 2005, at 11:03:11
In reply to (Yet) another perspective on love in therapy, posted by one woman cine on November 30, 2005, at 10:36:43
Have you read "In Session"? I think if you haven't you will find that this is a huge issue for so many people simply because it is so common place and we all think we can avoid falling into these feelings.
So many times in life you might become attracted to someone but no where else are expected to talk about it. And this can be scary if you've been hurt or taken advantage of before and very embarrassing if you consider yourself to "know better." And there are enough reports about therapists who do cross the line for it to be a concern.
Speaking for myself, I don't think I can hurt my therapist with my feelings, nor would I ever presume that I could make him love me. In fact the opposite is what goes on for me. I ask myself, "how DARE I feel this way? Who do I think I am? I'm not special, I'm just another client. He is married...his wife works next door! I'm married too." And on and on. What I also think is that I could lose him because of these feelings -- not romantic loss -- but loss of a very good therapist that I trust and care about.
It sometimes seems to me that people forget that while a therapist may have experienced this thousands of times, it is the first time for me. And while it is part of their daily experience, it isn't mine. And I know they've had training to handle these feelings, but I haven't. So intellectually I hear and agree with everything you said. And yet I still have developed these feelings.
Mostly, your post reinforces one of my biggest fears. That therapists go home and say, "God, you can't believe what I heard today. Another silly woman expressing her love for me." :(
poster:daisym
thread:583665
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051130/msgs/583674.html