Posted by daisym on October 24, 2005, at 14:23:06
In reply to Re: Daisy and others w/college-aged kids » antigua, posted by fallsfall on October 24, 2005, at 9:07:49
My brother sent me an email last week asking how things were with only one left at home. I sent him a long, honest reply about how sad I feel and yet at the same time how proud I am of them. I started it with saying that this is probably not the reply he expected, nor the socially acceptable one. I'm NOT turning cartwheels because my children no longer need me. His response was that he had heard a psychologist talking about this on NPR and he was saying that most parents aren't prepared for the self-questioning that is triggered as a child leaves home. Who are we? What is left to accomplish? Did we reach our potential? He let me know that even though his children are still in grammer school, this discussion struck a cord with him. Maybe your pdoc read/heard this same report?
I know that redefining myself is a big part of my therapy. But I found that the sadness erupted upon their leaving, or just before, not when filling out forms. Not surprisingly, these activities made me realize that I was a little jealous about the opportunities that stretched ahead of them and all the choices they had.
These mixed feelings have opened up plenty of discussions in therapy, including who did I want to be when I grew up and who did I end up being?
poster:daisym
thread:571296
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051018/msgs/571403.html