Posted by orchid on October 18, 2005, at 17:26:31
I am quite nostalgic today.
Looking back at the years, moving here, my job here, the loneliness, my marriage, therapy, my struggles and pains.
I have closed down many of the things here - sold the car I have driven, closed the apartment, disposed of all the furnitures and goods. Gave the resignation in my job.
Emotionally I am much more stable these days. All the pain and sufferings are mostly gone. Once in a while I remember my first T, but mostly just grateful feelings, and no suffering. He set right most of the fundas in my life. And besides most of the pain was really unwarranted - I suffered unnecessarily. But anyway, it is all resolved now. My second T helped me a great deal with my emotional issues and helped me identify issues I didn't know existed with my father. I almost feel like my first T laid the foundation, and the second T helped me build on it.
Therapy was really worth it. Irrespective of all the down sides to it, and the pain, it really helped me gain so much of peace.
Ever since I remembered, I always used to feel so restless, and anxious, and used to be jealous, and selfish, and competetive and always had a very low self image. Now I am much much more peaceful with myself. There is still long ways to go, but atleast I am more peaceful.
I am doing quite well wiht my marriage. There is something that happens when you stay with a person for a few years. There is a liking that develops and you kind of start blending into one. Thanks to therapy, I have started liking my hsuband more and more and started being very adjusting with him. Before I used to fight for everything. Now we hardly fight. Maybe once in a month or two. And it is becoming less and less as the days go. And we end up making up within a few minutes.
I wouldn't have gotten all this mental stability without therapy. And it helped me realize other's emotions and my own.
I have even started looking forward to my new life back home, without my career, with all the time in the world to spend peacefully and with family - time which I never had in the past 10 years.
poster:orchid
thread:568612
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051018/msgs/568612.html