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Re: Interesting thought about my T today » happyflower

Posted by Tamar on October 16, 2005, at 4:19:38

In reply to Re: Interesting thought about my T today » daisym, posted by happyflower on October 15, 2005, at 23:02:35

> > Just an observation: this is the second post where you refer to your therapist as a "normal guy." It makes me wonder if you are resisting feelings for him, thinking he is special, etc. I may be all wet. It isn't that I think you should have these feelings, it just feels a little like you want to push away any idealization that often happens.
>
> I find this very interesting on what you are saying. I have feeling for him as a person, he is sweet kind man who makes me laugh, but I am now getting some of this from other people now that I am out and about in the public.
> He has worked hard on me with me by not letting me put him up on a pedstal. He shows me over and over again just how normal he is. I think this might be why he discloses a lot to me about himself, positive stuff and not so perfect stuff.
> I guess I just feel like my feelings about him as a therapist has come full circle. First he thought I put him on a pedistal, then he thought I as critical of him, then I think he thought he was VERY special to me in my eyes. We touched on this a little in my last session. I told him how unimpressed I am with him now. He laughed so hard, I thought he was going to fall out of the chair. LOL

Tee hee. I like that he laughed.

I wonder if you and Daisy are both right… I know that I felt that when I’m working through the attachment stuff I can sometimes feel as if my therapist is just a normal guy. A special one, but also just a man like any other.

But then sometimes the feelings of longing come back. I don’t know if it’s a depressive cycle, but I think perhaps it’s just that (for me) it’s taking a long time to work through all those feelings of attachment. And so I sometimes wonder whether my feelings of not-being-so-attached are a kind of resistance. A little bit, anyway.

However, of course I never talked to my T about it. And you have been talking to your T about it. So I think it’s probably a good and healthy thing that you feel less attached at this stage.

And your happiness is definitely not annoying! I’m very pleased for you.

Tamar


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