Posted by muffled on October 13, 2005, at 20:09:32
In reply to Re: Have you noticed how selfish depression is?, posted by daisym on October 13, 2005, at 19:34:38
> I think it might be "self-centered" instead of selfish. It is hard to see other people's wants or needs when it is so dark and deep where you are. I tend to think of therapy as selfish -- the cost and the time and the amount of intraspection I do because of it. But I think it has also helped me to reach out beyond myself and share more of myself, good and bad, with other people.
I think of therapy as selfish too. But then I remind myself that I did it for my kids too.
>
> I think depression is really misunderstood by people who haven't experienced it intensely. I'm still shocked by my inability to motivate myself into high gear and actually get something done. I think sometimes through sheer force of will I can pull out of it. I guess I don't have enough will-power.Its not willpower, or lack of it. Its a sickness. I have been there. I don't remember too much, but I vaguely remember the complete and utter lack of ANYthing. Tired, unmotivated, I just didn't care. Its a scarey place. But its not forever. Please remember that. I have struggles and also joys. I could never have ever, ever imagined I would be where I am now. But here I am. I'm doing ok.
>
> I'll throw another question in here...Do you think suicide is selfish? I would have said yes a year ago -- my brother-in-law killed himself nearly 20 years ago now and my husband has never really dealt with it. I thought then he took the "easy" way out and I had no understanding of the pain he must have been in until now. I guess now I think of it again as "self-centered" but something that isn't done *to* other people, but without regard for them. Does that make sense?No suicide is not done intentionally *to* others I wouldn't say. But the others don't see it that way.
Yes, it is without regard. Thats very clever distinction. And when your in the pit, its all you can see is black.
But I think you are an exceptionally caring person. I think this will carry you through this hell. I, at the last minute, thought of the mess for my loved ones. It was probably my ONLY rational thought at the time. Sometimes I think an angel saved me. But I paused, called crisis, allowed them to call cops, and I'm here today. And glad I am. Depression is hideous, but curable. Try to stay connected. Your depressed mind will try and trick you. You might not think right. Talk. Reach out. Don't let yourself isolate too far. I know its so hard. Mebbe you have others who will reach out to you cuz your too tired. Could you tell people to call you regularly? Hospitals not so bad. Good for a rest. No pressure. Good drugs! They feed you. You'll meet interesting people. It can give you a chance to get back on your feet a bit. But watch out for those p-docs! Mine was awful! Had a real special nurse though.
Muffled
poster:muffled
thread:566169
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051008/msgs/566589.html