Posted by Blossom on October 12, 2005, at 9:37:27
In reply to Re: Need advice about friendship with former therapist » Blossom, posted by Tamar on October 12, 2005, at 7:15:25
Hi Tamar,
I think your advise is sound.
Once, I came to talk to him about a big problem I was having with my graduate advisor, and said to him, "I know you're busy, and I realize that I am neither friend nor client anymore, so if you don't have the time, it's okay." He replied, "Well, you're more a friend than a client." So I think he's acknowledging the relationship, but nobody has said anything about the implications, and from time to time, he still acts like he's my therapist. So now it's like I'm in a relational limbo with him.
I don't think there's the same transference that there was in therapy. Even in therapy, I would fight and argue with him, always in a congenial way, of course. We certainly don't agree about everything, but that's okay. I've come to realize that there's not a single person on earth who agrees with me about everything.
As far as wanting something more than friendship, I am absolutely sure that I don't. I actually think he's kind of a stinker, but that's part of what makes him fun to be around.
So, one of these days, I think I'll follow your advise. I'm going to get up the courage to ask him about it, and lay things out. It could be risky. I don't want him to think that I'm criticizing him for not holding to his own rules. But on the other hand, if I don't at this point, you're right. I'll probably get burned.
When I ever get around to that conversation, I'll let you guys know how it goes.
Blossom
poster:Blossom
thread:565861
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051008/msgs/566011.html