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going to quit therapy

Posted by alexandra_k on October 5, 2005, at 23:38:32

i only see her because...
she is a t
and i think i need therapy
but i don't know that i'm progressing seeing her
and so i shouldn't take up any more of her time

i think what i need...
is to get over this thinking that i need therapy
but i'm stuck

i'm stuck on this thing that without therapy there isn't any hope
that life is not worth living
that i'm incapable of carving out a life worth living for myself
without some help from a t

but how many times to i have to hear it?
how many ways do i have to hear it?

thats not going to happen for me
and so i persist in insisting on seeing people
who do not want to work with me
who do not believe they can help me
who do not like me
and of course all that just serves to make me worse

and maybe my problem is that i am an arrogant self indulgent little sh*t
and maybe thats right.
maybe thats right.

and no matter how much i say it...
about appreciating that nobody can save me from myself
maybe that is the hope after all
and maybe its more the case...
that there is no hope.

i'm sorry.
i'm just struggling with what to make of this.
and my mood has crashed.
and while the rational part of me knows that this too shall pass...
another part of me knows that this will return.
over
and over
and over again

and sometimes i can be my own worst enemy...
and sometimes i wish to god that i would just self-destruct

 

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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:alexandra_k thread:563562
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051001/msgs/563562.html