Posted by sleepygirl on September 28, 2005, at 22:35:22
I decided to post to you again down here because of all the other posts in the way.
So....I see, the whole choice factor gets in the way of going to work. I myself, given a glimpse of some rational reason will find a way to not go to work. The earlier in the morning it is, the more reasons I can find. :-) But seriously,
I know the after-avoidance feeling of crappiness. I find it best to recognize the fear, acknowledge it(not for too long mind you), then find anything at all to distract myself on the way to work. I also have gotten into the habit of getting everything I possibly can ready for the trip (prepared for action and determined)- the 'f*ck its' have less of a chance that way although they will try.
I tend to feel like a really lazy f*cker when I avoid a lot of stuff, but it is hard. Right now I keep repeating positive stuff to myself in my head over and over and over. I used to loathe affirmations, but I'm trying right now to stop all the negative messages I tell myself. I'd rather like to create a comic strip with all the crap that goes on in my head. Hey! maybe I will-one little box a day of some little insanity I participated in.
I often fail to mention missing work to my T, although I am honest to a fault usually. I can't stand myself if I lie. But I know both he and my pdoc will be like- well so then you feel like crap so what good does it do you, or something to that effect.
I know you can do it and survive. Give yourself lots of pats on the back, and invite some thoughts that challenge your internal critic into your head. I know it seems weird, but I'd hazard to guess that both of us individually are pretty darn hard on ourselves. So you don't always feel in control. You're human, and a great one. Stay afloat, it's gotta get better. :-)
-sleepygirl
poster:sleepygirl
thread:560821
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050920/msgs/560821.html