Posted by happyflower on September 26, 2005, at 2:18:43
In reply to Re: Talked to my T today about this » happyflower, posted by fairywings on September 23, 2005, at 7:02:34
My mom wasn't there and didn't come at all that day. ( I went at 7pm, and it was over at 8pm).
It was one of the biggest churches I have ever seen at least in the US! LOL
Well anyways I had to deal with one person thinking I was my mom and called me her name
( it is okay, I grew up with this since I do look like her).
Then of course I got a few comments on how people are praying for me and her to reunite. (not going to ever happen in this lifetime) I know this sounds cold to some people who don't know my story of abuse, but before you judge me, please read my story in the archives first, okay.Well I didn't make the decision to go until that morning. I really wanted to go, I felt bad for my cousin losing her DH and her 10yr. old son. I haven't seen most of my dad's side of my family since his death about 5 yrs ago. I miss my family, my cousin, aunts, and uncles. I can't run from my mother the rest of my life. She has taken so much from me, and enough is enough. I did take some pepper spray with me, and my DH looked around before I went in.
I feel so much better that I went, I think I would feel bad if I didn't. But I had to prove it to myself that I could in a sense stand up to my mother and not let her possiable presence keep me away from what I thought was the right thing to do. I have come a long ways since Jan. when I was REALLY TERRIFIED of coming in contact with my mother and suffering from PTSD because of it. I am still scared of her, but I think I am able to handle it better. I DID IT!!!!! :)
I can't believe I was brave enough emotionally to do it. But even though I have really felt I was over my PTSD, and that therapy has cured me of it, this was a real test for me to really see how much better I am.
I called and left a message today for my T to call me back so I can schedule an appointment to see him. I really want to thank him for his help and advice on how to handle this situation, and for the fact he has helped me deal with my mom. I feel real good about this. Thanks all for listening to me and your support! :)
poster:happyflower
thread:557907
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050920/msgs/559689.html