Posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2005, at 14:44:11
In reply to Re:T. and shrink stuff ,DBT, and poss.trigger*** » fairywings, posted by terrics on September 24, 2005, at 10:15:56
Hiya. I did one year of individual and group DBT - a couple of years back now.
At the time... I hated group too. Didn't really like the other people there very much. I was lucky to get on really well with my individual t, but she left after 8 months and then I was transfered to someone I didn't get on with... Then another individual t I didn't get on with... Then termination. So I guess I've tried working with 3 different DBT therapists. It was very different with the different individual t's.
> I have a DBT therapist and I can be quite mean to her. It is so deliberate. I just want to know that she is human.
I think... I get what you mean. Some therapists can come across as rather detached and cool. And so... I get an urge to dig some kind of response out of them too. And negative responses seem easier to provoke than positive ones. I think... I do get that. Could you talk to your t about that? It is possible that... She doesn't realise her manner is having that effect on you and I guess she won't know what is going on unless you tell her. Another thing... Is that if you do manage to get a negative response out of her by poking... Then I guess she is likely to attempt to withdraw from you even more in self-defence. Does that make sense?
> In DBT you 'learn 'rules' to go by in life.
How do you mean?
What topics have you covered so far in group?> You can only call your T. if you feel like you are going to harm yourself.
Really?
I don't think that that is how it is supposed to go... I know that there is a period of time AFTER SI where you can't contact your t. But aside from that...
That being said I think that they varied that rule a bit from how Linehan wrote it from my end too... Mostly... Because none of the t's were willing to be called at home.> Sometimes she doesn't call back and you get some p-doc instead and because they are afraid you will cut or suicide they automatically put you in the hosp.
Ah. That sounds a little odd to me too... How long have you been doing DBT?
After a time... I think the idea is that when you phone people in crisis they should help you figure out what DBT skills to use to get yourself through the crisis without hospitalisation.> Also, because I was so mean and did not call back Friday I feel like she wil 'dump' me.
Do you have a contract to work together or a year or something like that???
> Have any of you tried DBT? ps I am 99% sure that she does not care about me at all, except to re-program me. If she suceeds she gets a 'gold star'.
I appreciate it can feel that way at times...
But I think the idea is more that...
If she suceeds then you get a life worth living.It is about you getting better.
But thats not about something that she does TO you.
Thats something that you have to work WITH her to do.
Sounds to me like there is some 'therapy intefearing' stuff that would be worthwhile having a chat to her about (you should be able to get to that okay in an individual session, I think thats 2nd on the agenda).Do you think you could try to have a frank discussion with her about how you are finding things.
Especially... The urge to poke.
I really do understand that.
And I think she will...
I think she will.Because I think it is positive responses that you are really looking for...
But taking the negative ones as better than nothing.
But if you can sort that out then therapy might just be a lot more pleasant for the both of you.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:557958
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050920/msgs/559004.html