Posted by Toph on September 23, 2005, at 19:15:07
A year ago I began my diversion to Babble in ernest. I have had many transitory preoccupations in my life, some entertaining, others destructive. I have been obsessed with reading, movies, television. I have squandered countless quarters mastering pinball and video games. I found Freecell.com challenging and social. And unfortunately I am only consistently average (around 1650) at Yahoo Hearts.
Babble was different. For years I was a closet chronically mentally ill person who none of my colleagues or clients suspected had spent months in psychiatric confinement. Only my closest family and a few friends knew. Aside from what little I could glean from my 45-minute sessions with my p-doc every 6 weeks, I managed to keep my sanity with my medication and a comfortable life. And, of course, with one of the aforementioned distractions.
A year ago, I dipped my toe into this curious site and soon succumbed to the undertow. People were nice (most of them, anyway), bright, creative and helpful. I exited the closet and openly shared my nuttiness with like individuals. I struggled with the rules (nothing new to me), but soon felt apart of a community. I even met in person Bob and several friends last summer.
For whatever reason I've moved to the fringe of the group like countless participants have before me here. This detatchment is sad but also a healthy thing for me. I do not regret my intense involvement here, I learned alot about accepting myself, I have grown with the support of people I respect, and I even learned a little about civility despite my resisitance.
But, if I'm honest, Babble has had its negative aspects as well. When I was most intensely active, I was highly distracted, obsessed with some struggle with others or Bob or persistent anticipation of reaction to one of my posts. There are many among us who have spent half a day or all night staring at our computers as if it nurtures us.
Here is my question to you Psych Boarders who in my experience are very introspective and serious, do you think that Babble is too much of a distraction for you? Not just the time - my wife hates how much time I've spent on line and I have fallen dangerously behind at work inpart because of my non-work computer activity. I mean the mental distraction, the thought preoccupation, the obsession with this cyber colony. I feel as though it has interfered with my marriage, it has stiffled much of my passion for my work, it has replaced time I would have spent working on my home or socializing with my real life friends. If I had more of a therapeutic alliance with my therapist I contend that Babble would likely be a distraction there as well, and maybe it is. Anybody else worry about this?
Sorry to ramble. Part of termination, I guess.
poster:Toph
thread:558669
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050920/msgs/558669.html