Posted by Tamar on September 19, 2005, at 15:33:00
In reply to Questions about transference, posted by Deneb on September 19, 2005, at 0:07:17
Hi Deneb,
> OK, let me get this straight...transference can occur in everyday life between all sorts of people?
Yep!
> When someone reacts in a way that is totally out of proportion to the actual situation it is a transference reaction?
Yeah, like the day I met my husband and fell in love at first sight and decided I was going to marry him. (And although I did marry him, it was nevertheless transference when I met him!)
> Good golly, that happens to me all the time!
>
> I just don't get it...
> Nothing really bad happened in my childhood or anything.I don’t think that experiencing transference is a sign of a difficult childhood. Most people are experiencing some transference when they fall in love, or when they meet someone they want to be friends with. It’s kind of like a shorthand: you’ve felt xyz about certain people before, and you meet someone who reminds you of those people so you feel xyz about the new person (if that makes sense).
> I mean, I remember being extremely anxious and sometimes extremely angry as a kid, but nothing really bad happened to me or anything.
>
> Maybe I just didn't get enough affection or something? :-(If you feel that you didn’t get enough affection, then perhaps that feeling will influence your experience of transference.
> How in the heck am I supposed to get rid of this annoying transference thing I have?
Ah, if there were an easy answer to that, half the posts on this board might not exist! Seriously, though, if you do therapy and you explore what kinds of transference feelings arise, you’ll probably discover some really helpful things. I don’t think you can get rid of it exactly, but perhaps it comes to have less power once you understand where it’s coming from.
I hope that makes some sense. Good luck!
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:556715
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050912/msgs/556902.html