Posted by Sonya on September 14, 2005, at 12:45:57
I gave my T the notes I typed up (see my post "Will this land me in the hospital" above). She said "it's so sad". That started the waterworks and they didn't stop the whole hour. At one point she left her chair, sat next to me on the couch and put her arm around me while I was sobbing (& let me tell you, they were wracking sobs). I think I needed that cry. She wants me to call the American Red Cross and volunteer my time for the weekends, which I will force myself to do. I told her it's just very hard to put myself into another situation where I will most likely fail -- at interacting with others and not fitting in. It's easier to isolate so I don't torture myself even more.
She kept driving home the point that I was a good mother to my boys as they were growing up and that's what they'll remember. I'm afraid all they'll remember is the crying, suicidal, depressed mother. (My son was with my husband when they got to me after my overdose. Will he ever overcome that image?)
She told me about her own mother, who was not a very good mother at all. Her mother used to tell her she was ugly, and pretty much ignored her. She's talked about her personal life at other sessions and I appreciate it because it seems less clinical. Do alot of T's do this?
She wants me to give my notes to my pdoc tomorrow so he knows how bad I am. Now I'm very nervous about that.
Today was very hard.
poster:Sonya
thread:555008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050912/msgs/555008.html