Posted by cockeyed on September 14, 2005, at 11:28:58
Hi, Tomorrow I will interview my , I suspect, new P-doc. I'm trying to stress that I am interviewing him. I'm of the school of old f*rts, anybody who's a doctor is the virtual voice of god.
I can feel the anxiety much as I felt anxiety
when I saw my cardiologist yesterday. Anxiety is never far away and it makes my life a series of jagged edges...gotta do this, gotta do that. But I won't do 'em. I spent my youth doing such.
Trouble is now I don't know who is me. Just started Wellbutryn 300mgs.mgs.
And I woke up , for me, early, and I cleaned the toilet. And I'm gonna play my guitar again.
But there is a pall cast upon this sudden wellbeing.
I'm a big guy and am tired of being treated with low dosages of anti-depressants. To start me off or get me started.
My cardiologist has told me that I beat stress tests 'cause I've been a jock for a good part of my life. If there's a problem he opts for an angiogram. But that's not what all the books say.
So tomorrow I hope that as a "consumer" I can make it clear that I respond well to large doses of meds.
But what if he says no. I hate shopping. I see a therapist who I really like, tho she wants me to write letters to my mom and pop and me.
Wrote a letter to my mom and it about gutted me. And I am glib to the point of B.S. artistry.
I'm posting this just to get the damn stage
fright out.
I'm sick of being depressed. I'm sick of low dosage horsesh*t. I want my meds to work and not just dribble away.
Perhaps this is a bad attitude. But, damn, it low dosages have not worked. I still awake depressed and loathing the day to come.
That's it. I've vented. Maybe I'll get lucky and maybe act like a demanding consumer and not a "patient" 'cause I ain't. Cockeyed
poster:cockeyed
thread:554983
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050912/msgs/554983.html