Posted by Poet on August 28, 2005, at 22:48:38
I know it was only my second time seeing her, but it was like she didn't even take a few minutes to glance at her notes.
She suggested another new med and wrote it down for me to *research.* I asked *what about abilify?* She wrote it down on the same note paper and then crossed it out after I said *you suggested it last time.* I got a blank look.
I told her that I need a prescription for ambien. She gave me a look like *you have trouble sleeping?* I did get the RX, but really shouldn't she have known I have insomnia? She wrote enough notes about it!
Absolutely no mention of my negative thoughts that she talked about so much last time.
She is supposedly ordering me a book on Asperger's syndrome, not that I have it, but I will find similarities between myself and those with it. That came about after she asked if I am more comfortable this time and I said no, I am only comfortable when I am alone.
What I should have said is *I'd be more comfortable with a doctor who at least glances at the notes from the last visit.*
I did make another appointment, but can cancel it. My T said that if I do see pdoc again, I should write down all my concerns and hand them to her.
My T told me that it took her awhile to get used to how uncomfortable I am with her. She wasn't excusing pdoc's lack of note reading, but that perhaps she was more concerned with why I am so uncomfortable with other people. Ex pdoc used to ask if there was anything he could do help me feel safe and when I said no, that was the end of the discussion.
I dread finding another pdoc and going through a psych eval again, but I am not sure she is right for me. I suppose I could give it one more shot and tell her to read my concerns out loud that way I know she'll read it. One of them would be that she should stop reading right now and read over her notes.
I do like her ideas about not grabbing onto negative thoughts, but am angry/worried that she didn't bring it up.
This time she told me to find something to carry with me that will help me feel safe and comfortable. A brick wall is too heavy to haul around, so I'm thinking of a small key that I can use to mentally lock people out of my space. Though I am concerned she won't mention this idea next time.
I saw her at 9 a.m. and there was no patient with her when I got there. Couldn't she have just glanced over the notes for the major things? That worries me. When I worry I obsess. I do not need this. All I wanted was to be less depressed, not fearing another psych eval with another pdoc.
Advice please!
Poet
poster:Poet
thread:547908
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050824/msgs/547908.html