Posted by Pfinstegg on August 10, 2005, at 11:04:14
In reply to Re: Thanks for thinking of me, Daisy! » Pfinstegg, posted by daisym on August 10, 2005, at 0:16:54
That was so lovely of you - to be glad to hear from me. it means so much, and is a counterbalance to the horrible memories of cold, sadistic treatment which are such a big part of my analysis now.
As to recovering memories- in general, i haven't uncovered any big new ones. The emotional memories of how it all felt are much, much stronger and more real, though. Through the art therapy, I think I am having new 'implicit" memories of sexual abuse. I try to go in there without any plans as to what to draw, and find, as I start, with scribbles, that I am almost invariably drawing pictures of detailed oral and vaginal abuse. My analyst says that it is more common than not for these kinds of memories to remain 'implicit'. They don't get over into the regular memory of "oh, right-this happened". I guess the therapeutic hope is that they will eventually. But for now, he feels it is very important for young pfinstegg to have the art as a way to express what she can't say. i feel sure that he is right, as I feel much better after drawing these things. It helps a lot that the art therapist is very kind and accepting- she becomes a sort of new, good mother, not the mother I could never tell anything to.
How about you? I'm under the impression that you do have a lot of horrible abuse memories, but that they are in your explicit memory, so that you can talk about then in detail- which I understand is really important in the healing process.
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:537920
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050801/msgs/539925.html