Posted by kerria on August 9, 2005, at 9:16:16
In reply to Kerria, posted by Shortelise on August 9, 2005, at 0:01:58
(((((ShortE)))))
It was horrible. i don't have good communication with parts- working on that in therapy now- before i went to hospital i tried to think of the best part to be there during the procedure.
When i arrived at the hospital my nurse was talking about a camping trip so my outdoor part that hikes and goes camping and is unfearing came out and it was going well.
Then the nurse had trouble with putting IV and asked my dr to do it. It triggered me so much - he got so angry and started swearing because he wasn't familiar with the design of the needle and it broke.in the procedure room where they took me with the flouroscope they told me to lie on stomach and dr gave his medication choices and said not to give the sedation that was agreed upon beforehand - Last month i panicked-couldn't have the procedure because they delayed the sedation. He told me to take my usual valium before- from my psych Dr- and that was enough. i tried to change his mind there- in that position but he wouldn't agree, saying that he needed me 'there'.
It was so horrible- to be so out of control. The needle hurt so much when they put it in. The nurse kept saying that i was ok - but i wasn't ok- i was crying for my teddy bear, i was afraid i was going to die and i wanted to go home.
Then i lost time and was in the recovery room and everything from the waist down was numb. i thought they had made a mistake and i would never walk again . The nurse came and said it was just the anesthetic.
The dr came and told me that the steroid would begin to work in 3-7 days and continue for days, weeks or months to relieve pain. He said to call the office today to schedule another one in two weeks. It took two hours for the anesthesia to wear off enough so i could walk. Then my h took me home.
i don't know how i can ever have it again. i don't want to have anything . It's so unfair that i have no choices at all. i can't find any dr yet to believe me or treat me without abusing me. AS soon as they find i have PTSD , DID they assume it's psychosomatic pain. It's not.
tears. i can't go through this abuse again.tears.
i wish that the pain was somewhere else. It's so unfair that they stop looking for the physical cause.Feel not safe now. i never want to call this dr again . i can't find anyone to treat me and so tired of the triggering humiliation of being at doctor's mercy and all the abuse. i swera he was trying to torture and terrify me so i wouldn't go back.
so tired of it. i don't want to have anything ever again.
not feeling safe nowkerria
poster:kerria
thread:539461
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050801/msgs/539529.html