Posted by crushedout on August 8, 2005, at 13:48:56
I'm feeling extraordinarily anxious. About just about everything in my life. and I don't know what to do about it.I had my first double session today (separate issue, really). Wow that was long. I mean, I've had double sessions before but not with this therapist.
It was really helpful in that it allowed me to get very deep into talking about the transference, and I admitted a lot of stuff I've been feeling about her lately and how it relates to stuff I've felt about previous therapists. I was able to tell her exactly what I was thinking, even though sometimes it was very embarrassing and made me feel very vulnerable. She kept telling me that the more open and honest I can be, the more possible it will be for us to do the necessary work. And I know she's right. And it's helpful for her to constantly remind me of this.
I did feel very disconnected emotionally from a lot of the stuff I was saying. The only feelings I was aware of were: exhaustion, embarrassment, self-consciousness, and anxiety. But I wasn't able to *feel* the longings that I was telling her about. It was more like I was reporting something I know I've felt in the past and I know I'll probably feel again. I guess that probably made it easier to talk about because I was sort of shut down to it.
Now I wish I could calm down. I'm way overstimulated. I wonder if I need a new med. Ugh.
poster:crushedout
thread:539177
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050801/msgs/539177.html