Posted by pinkeye on August 2, 2005, at 14:17:36
In reply to I find it easier to depend on God for all these.. » rabble_rouser, posted by pinkeye on August 2, 2005, at 14:11:36
Once I kind of levelled everyone to the same level, all these issues became not so big a deal. Then I started accepting, that in some areas I am good - in some areas I am not so good. I do somethings extra ordinarily well, somethings pathetically bad. I sometimes go out of the way to help others and be nice, and sometimes go out of the way to be mean to others.
And it all became acceptable to me, because there came this magic phrase "I am an ordinary person living an ordinary life, and just an ordinary child of God".. and everything became easy. (The first portion of the above statement was a courtesy from my ex T :-). The latter portion, I added ). And actually that attitude really helps me - if my parents didn't love me perfectly, well, so be it - there is God finally. If my husband loves me, I am grateful for it - even if he doesn't, I don't lose much - there is always finally God to love me.
I belive, this is what that psychologists aim for - when they say you should be content in yourself and internally happy etc. I think they are little wrong in that nobody can achieve that level of internal-self-contendedness by themselves. All of us need some external support to be stable - and I chose God as the support.
> For me, achieving self esteem/self acceptance/unconditional self approval/ everything was kind of pretty hard to achieve by myself.
>
> I always ended up asking myself, how can I accept myself unconditionally, when knowingly I commit mistakes? How can I tell myself, I am a great person, I am a worthy person, and I deserve the very best etc, when I know I am not a great person, and I don't always behave at my best. How can I demand that my husband love me unconditionally, when I know I don't love anyone unconditionally? It all seemed a little hard to achieve realistically.
>
> The easier thing for me to achieve was to somehow get it all levelled out and kind of linked to God. I started thinking, all of us are God's children and HE is supposed to love all of us unconditionally. And HE treats all of us as equal. So for me all this issue of Self Esteem/Self Acceptance/Self approval finally boiled down to "I am just as good or as worse as HIS any other children. If other people can feel good about themselves, then so can I. If other people can demand the best for themselves, then so can I. If other people can be happy irrespective of their mistakes, then so can I. IF all these murderes/rapists/corrupt people/good for nothing persons can be happy and can have pride in themselves, then so can I. And God loves all of them also, so why won't HE love me? And if HE can love me, so can I love myself. If HE approves of everyone, then HE would definitely approve of me, and I can also approve myself. Finally it all boiled down to I am equal to everyone and just as ordinary or as special - just as love-able or as un-love-able."
poster:pinkeye
thread:536500
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050801/msgs/536733.html