Posted by Dinah on July 27, 2005, at 19:35:01
Friday.
Two weeks is the longest I've been without seeing my therapist since his mother died. He even mentioned that last time. Well, I brought up his mother (and then apologized). He said it was the first time he had been gone for that long.
I didn't do very well that time. I know I'm stronger now than I was then. In fact, I don't know if I'm more afraid I can't do without him, or I'm more afraid I can.
I'm definitely afraid of next session. We nearly always fight on the last session before a break. No matter how I try to make it bland. I bring up something I think is innocuous and he pitches a fit about it. I always thought it was because I got angry and he got defensive. But looking back, it's usually that he gets mad at something I say that I thought was neutral. Now, why would he pick a fight before a break? Stress over an upcoming journey?
I'm trying to think of truly bland topics.
I really want to tell him that I love him as a person as well as as my therapist/mommy. But once before a trip I told him I had the urge to take care of him and he made it into something sexual and ugly.
I could talk about how I realize that it's in my best interest (Falls, you'll like this) to not be in good spirits, because my husband isn't as mean to me when I'm depressed or sick.
Surely that would be neutral.
poster:Dinah
thread:534438
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050725/msgs/534438.html