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Re: Someone called my cell (trigger)

Posted by kerria on July 19, 2005, at 0:00:40

In reply to Re: Someone called my cell (trigger) » kerria, posted by cricket on July 18, 2005, at 11:15:58

(((Cricket))) Thank you for being so nice to me.

i didn't call T. i dread everything. It was easier to try to forget all day than call T. i went to work and it was 110 degrees from about 10am- 2:30pm when i left with a terrible headache and went to bed. i just got up now to take more medicine.

Communication is so hard for me. It feels like i can't do it because i need more RL support. i didn't call T- i'm worried about things but i don't want to. He left me in a bad place last week and so many times and it feels so negative to go there.

Tomorrow i have medical appts- a checkup with internist because of chronic pain that i've been in for two years. i'm seeing a dr that i used to go to a long time ago- i haven't seen her for about six years and then an appt with the pain management dr. That's scary also because i'm worried about the cause of my pain- worried about treatment and the idea that they will think that it's psychological. i'm in so much trouble.

i'll email T and call him in the morning. i wish that he'd be more on my side instead of being always so against me. i'm really doing the best i can to communicate. It's so hard to want to 'ask inside'. i wish T could think of a way to help meee or at least be understanding - knowing that i'm struggling and need encouragement not condemnation.
Therapy is hard for you, too- maybe it's always difficult. Cricket- i hope it gets better for you, too. Don't feel that you have to help me- just having someone to talk to is so comforting. Don't worry about me- somehow things work out- parts get it done and we survive.
i have to get back to bed- headache is getting bad again.
take care,
kerria


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