Posted by daisym on July 13, 2005, at 23:30:24
In reply to My T...darn him!...Love him!, posted by gardenergirl on July 13, 2005, at 9:18:14
*****And the really difficult part is that there's just no comfort for it. It doesn't go away. It's there, and it's part of me, and I have to face it or keep expending all that wasted energy to avoid it. Did I mention it HURTS? It's so scary to go there, because it feels dark and scary and lonely and small. I feel small. It's so hard to feel like a competent person and professional when you feel like a lonely, scared, little girl so much of the time. Or I defend against feeling that, and I can't feel competent if my energy is devoted to defenses.*****
Yes! Yes! Yes! Ugh. I'm sorry you are hurting and feeling so small. It is hard to shake that little girl feeling sometimes. I'm scheduling therapy later and later in the day due to this. But sometimes that back fires because work usually kicks me back to competent adult mode. It isn't good to feel young and lost and really be alone at home. Or worse, have to engage in "adult" activities when you feel so open and vulnerable. So take care of yourself around this.I'm glad for your progress. Who said "no pain, no gain?" We should shoot them!
Hugs from me,
Daisy
poster:daisym
thread:527075
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050706/msgs/527372.html