Posted by messadivoce on June 29, 2005, at 14:05:29
I know that a lot of different people are sensitive about this subject, and for me it was as hard to talk about as sex!!
Anyway, I lost 25 pounds before I started college, and it was pretty much because my mom made me go to weight watchers. It helped short-term, but it didn't fix the problem inside, which was that I hated myself no matter what my weight. I got thin for my build and height, and I thought about food constantly!! Just hungry all the time.
By the time I went to therapy at my Uni, I had gained 10 of it back and had pretty much found my equilibrium. But I still felt fat. When I stopped therapy I felt much better about myself. My male T inferred that he would be a pretty shallow person if my weight mattered to him at all in that context.
When I went to my female T the next year, she turned out to be a plus-sized woman. Her confidence in herself as a person and a woman was inspiring. Not that I thought any less of her in the first place, but she was just so comfortable with herself that I couldn't help but notice. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I've learned the elementary truth that if you're not happy, weighing less isn't going to really help that much.
Now I think I've probably put on another 10 pounds from the last year of college (no time to eat healthy, or think about what I'm eating) and I'm trying to cut back (but I just love food sooooo much!!). But my point is, I feel better now than I did when I was thinner!! It's amazing. And I now have the ability to not care what my (skinny) family is thinking. Because it just doesn't matter.
My wedding is next June. I'm hoping to lose those 10 pounds or so by then, but I think this time it's going to be different because I feel different.
poster:messadivoce
thread:521121
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050628/msgs/521121.html