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I've Been Wallowing In It ...

Posted by Susan47 on June 20, 2005, at 20:07:37

All those calls, all those expressions of lust, and love, desire and experience .. they make me feel like a W-o-m-a-n.
I just realized, right now, a window opened for me; a fresh, salty breeze blew into my head, and I felt joy, and wonder, and completely, totally whole.
And I realized, my ex-T did that for me.
Or in any case, he allowed me to do it for myself.
He was very patient.
Sometimes, he was very very angry.
Mostly, though, I believe he means to be kind. He meant to be.
But, as we all know, sometimes we have to hurt people, in spite of our Best Wishes.

He was kind, yes.
And lovely to look at, wonderful to watch.
So very, very beautiful.

Why is it that Other Women always have the most wonderful men. Oh, no, not true. No. I've seen a lot of women with un-wonderful men. But the most beautiful men, they always choose Other Women.
I wish I were beautiful, too.
There are so many degrees of being.
I'm realizing that beauty can really be found inside.
SO silly.
People have known that for eons.
I don't remember the first time anyone told me that.
But I do know, if I can't see my inner beauty, whatever I have on the outside will always look bad, to me.
Sometimes, a person will look at you a certain way, maybe without even realizing that they're doing it. And you can see something you never saw before, something so nice about yourself that it makes you weep. And it makes you incredibly Hot. Like you need to tear your clothes off and make love, and f*ck me I Love You .... and slowly, things begin to change for yourself. In your mind, it starts in your mind. And it moves to your heart.
And if you're lucky, it stays with you forever.


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poster:Susan47 thread:516230
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050615/msgs/516230.html