Posted by cockeyed on June 14, 2005, at 2:06:29
I've been lucky to get a new T without a long wait. I was falling back into the void of depression. Black hole of futility.
Has anybody heard of or dealt with a therapy known as EMDR, "eye movement desensitization and reprocessing" dealing with PTSD. Not going "there", right now, but I find that in my life, whenever I most want to do something, I fail. Something as simple as tennis. I can play well, but at the key point, I just miss, or "choke" and that seems to have been a pattern thru my life. My old man's nickname for me wa "Ulysses" which he pronounced "useless" I realize I'm not useless until I personally want to succeed: then I get hung up.
I recently had to give up singing in a choral group because of recurrent attacks of angina on days of rehearsal. I've always wanted to sing and it took a lot to get my butt out there. But the rehearsals involved a long stressful drive, singing in an airless hot studio...blah, blah, blah. Anyway I had to quit because of angina...if you've ever had it, you know that it can be scary. I suspect it was caused in part by the sideeffects of celexa-had to quit that because of muscle pain. But, I wonder how much of the symptom came about because I was doing well altho I really had to work at it. I'm officially disabled and am finding that disability really is, well, disabling. having real trouble coping with it. Can't come to terms with it, and with the whole syndrome of "almost" but not quite.
But has anyone had experience with EMDR? Or with the "choke" syndrome? cockeyed
poster:cockeyed
thread:512406
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050606/msgs/512406.html