Posted by annierose on June 5, 2005, at 21:23:48
In reply to you know what......, posted by rainbowbrite on June 5, 2005, at 18:50:31
Rainbowbright -
Agreed that we all missed Fallen -- COME BACK!
I guess it is scary to let someone get close to you. For me, the theraputic relationship also seems selfish. I am uncomfortable talking only about myself all the time, enough already, b-o-r-i-n-g. My T gently reminds me that is "our contract" (i.e. it's about me). It's a risk. But well worth the fight!
I think if you find a T you connect with, someone that intellectually challenges your thinking, you'll want to stay and get close to that person. That closeness is scary (for all of us that didn't have that as children). But if you accept it, you'll come to love it.
At dinner I started telling you that the first time I did therapy, I was quite young (18) and scared. I didn't want to like her, depend upon her, g-d forbid "need" her, etc. etc. When she went on vacation, I would say "no problem" and meant it. And I fought with her over everything.
Now, doing this again, I feel so completely different. I cringed when she announced her first summer vacation ("No, you can't leave me for 2 weeks) and I tell her how important she is, and how much I depend upon her. It feels so good to be able to tell someone that.
What I'm trying to say, those scary feelings are pushing you away from therapy. But they are worth exploring. The rewards are great.
Annierose
p.s. I like your new name for Spoc, "Sparkles" or "Spark" ... much more her
poster:annierose
thread:507991
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050528/msgs/508161.html